1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:07,640 It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV. 2 00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:13,140 But where are those good old -fashioned values on which we used to rely? 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,720 Lucky there's a family guy. 4 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:22,700 Lucky there's a man who finds a new man who holidays with me. 5 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,160 Laugh and cry. 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,300 He's a family guy. 7 00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:40,040 Welcome to Quahog's first recreational dispensary. 8 00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:43,960 Now, as you all know, I was against this. I fought it tooth. 9 00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:46,480 Maybe I should have also fought it nail. 10 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,300 But that time is gone. 11 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,960 Settle down. There's enough drugs for everybody. 12 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:58,420 Wow, Quahog has a lot more white guys with blonde dreadlocks than I thought. 13 00:00:58,660 --> 00:01:02,520 And a fair number of black ladies with the blonde dreadlocks guys. 14 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:05,960 Cleveland, what do you think about that? We don't like to talk about it, Peter. 15 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:08,160 It's a big problem in our community. 16 00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,500 It's just, you should know, in the white community, these guys are kind of 17 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,700 considered, like, big -time rascals. We're aware. 18 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,180 It's being handled. There was just a big Zoom about it. Maybe you could... We're 19 00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:21,360 going to go ahead and deal with this one in -house. 20 00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:22,780 How you doing? 21 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,340 There is a plan. 22 00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:26,780 That's all I need to know. 23 00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:36,020 Is that cinnamon toast crunch in witness protection when I'm at breakfast? 24 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:43,540 Susie and I saw you unloading groceries and wanted to let you know if you need 25 00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:46,780 to borrow reusable bags, I have a bunch. 26 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:51,720 And, you know, you can't soak cast iron skillets, right? It strips the 27 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,660 seasoning. Oh, Mrs. S is throwing haymakers. 28 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,940 It's not soaking. I'm cooking water. 29 00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:02,420 Oreos. Here we go, baby. 30 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:05,600 I want Oreos. 31 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,060 Hey, they're just Oreos. Relax. 32 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,100 Besides, they're not for babies. 33 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,520 They're for rewarding good behavior in developmentally slow adults. 34 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:31,880 So then I was like, what if I... also been the mailman the whole time. 35 00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:33,720 Yeah, you were saying that in the car. 36 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,020 I know, but you didn't respond. 37 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:39,200 Let's lock these guys up in a cabinet for a while, huh? Yeah, I think that'll 38 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,200 best. 39 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:50,740 Bingo! 40 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,400 Oh, baby, bonus candy. 41 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,620 Not really feeling the sugar rush. 42 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,680 I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes. 43 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,300 A good idea, Rupert. Music will help me relax. 44 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,880 Okay, this is good. This is helping. 45 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,160 The wheels of a bus. 46 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,420 Go round and round. 47 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,100 Why should I be afraid of dying? 48 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:36,320 Wait, what? With a lunatic on the grassy ground. 49 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:45,060 If you hear the lunatics howl, the wheels on the 50 00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:51,300 bus may start to growl. They must be given our help, 51 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:55,720 and very soon we'll all be dead. 52 00:03:56,910 --> 00:04:00,210 I wonder if this is why Ben and Jerry started making ice cream. 53 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,910 Hey, grab your lunches. I know a spot. 54 00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:11,910 I think I may take a gap year. You know, hit the road. 55 00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:15,270 There's something I've been searching for for a while that I need to find. 56 00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:17,329 Little guy named Stewie Griffin. 57 00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:21,589 Can you hear any of this? I'm not even trying to listen anymore. I'm thinking 58 00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:22,569 about soccer. 59 00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,310 Guys, what are you doing up here? 60 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:27,240 Big no - No, the roof is off limit. 61 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,320 Stewie, are you high? 62 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,800 Yeah, so are you. We're on the roof. 63 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,780 Okay, I heard that. That was funny. 64 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,700 We now return to a date line with a beloved town dentist. 65 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,040 He did it. It was him. 66 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:52,680 Peter, we got a big problem. It appears Stewie was high on pot at school. 67 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,840 Excuse me for one second. 68 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,340 Lois, someone's at the door for you. 69 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,700 Joe, why do you have Stewie? 70 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,400 I'm sorry to tell you this, Lois, but apparently, Stewie was high at school. 71 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,660 What? It's the worst thing I've seen in my career, and I've seen four dead 72 00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:12,500 bodies. So technically, that was a zip lining accident in Costa Rica. 73 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:17,960 Okay. Maybe not the best idea, having 13 -year -olds securing those carabiners. 74 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,980 Joe, I... You know, they wouldn't even let me bring my own camera on the zip 75 00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:25,560 line. Odd, right? Well, turns out they just want to sell you their photos. I'll 76 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,740 take it from here, Joe. Thanks for bringing him home. This is a serious 77 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:32,220 Lois. I have a court order to remove him from your custody. 78 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,600 What? No! 79 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,400 Please! I'm sorry, Lois. No! 80 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,300 My baby! 81 00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:39,580 Please! 82 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,580 Oh, I got to keep Stewie entertained, so I'm going to need your iPad. 83 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:45,660 What? No, my baby. 84 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,960 Please. 85 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,080 Hey, what's going to happen with Stewie? 86 00:05:56,340 --> 00:06:00,340 He's at the Swanson's until I complete court -ordered online parenting classes. 87 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:04,820 Throwing this out there, if you want a new baby in six months, let me know. You 88 00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:06,580 got to tell me within five months. 89 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,180 Five and a half, Max. 90 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:18,480 So, Stewie, I know your dad is a pretty funny guy, but I'm kind of the your dad 91 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,480 around here. 92 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,680 Yeah, Pops doesn't really talk about being funny. He just is. 93 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,360 Yeah, Stewie, comedy's pretty big in this house, too. In fact, I recently 94 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:31,220 submitted a packet to get into the Capitol Steps. Nobody knows what that 95 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,820 Joe. They're pretty well known in the political satire off -center comedy 96 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,720 Anybody here know if Tip O 'Neill is a generous tipper? 97 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,040 They make a bit of hay about that in the packet. 98 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,240 Tip O 'Neill's been dead since 1994. 99 00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:47,920 Voicemail from the Capitol steps. 100 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,580 Hey, Joe, this is Clarky. So sorry, but we're going to pass. 101 00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:56,500 We're looking for someone more off -center, more skewed, if that makes 102 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,760 That's what I am! 103 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,700 There's plenty of other comedy groups. 104 00:07:01,060 --> 00:07:01,859 Oh, really? 105 00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:03,680 Like the Capitol freaking steps! 106 00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:09,010 What about... If you say the words ocean state follies, I swear to God, I'll 107 00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,950 empty my bag all over the floor. 108 00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:18,750 Meg, please, I really need the laptop. I'm just about done with my parenting 109 00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,470 classes and then I can get Stewie back. 110 00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:24,550 One sec, I gotta finish this mandatory sexual harassment course today or I'm 111 00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:25,550 allowed around the janitors. 112 00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:30,770 True or false, it's okay to slap a man's bottom if he knows you. 113 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:31,990 That's gotta be true. 114 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,570 False. I'm done. 115 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,660 Thanks, Meg. This has been so hard for me. 116 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,540 A mama just can't be separated from her kiddos. 117 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,200 Well, I'm off to Denver with a guy from the magic shop. 118 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,880 Okay, see you at dinner. 119 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,280 Only if you're in the greater Denver area there, Hoff. 120 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,120 I'm just going to give you the title of the sketch. 121 00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:56,500 It's called the Danquil Spelling Bee. The jokes write themselves. 122 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 Do one. 123 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,320 Here it is. 124 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,980 I'm done with my parenting class. Where's my baby? 125 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,820 I'm happy for you, Lois, but don't let this happen again. 126 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,160 He ran out of diapers, so he's wearing a Walgreens bag. 127 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,520 Oh, Stewie, I am so happy to have you back. 128 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,800 Mama's never going to let anything like this happen again, OK? 129 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,380 This place is a nightmare. 130 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,960 They don't even have a xylophone on a string that you can drag behind you. 131 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,800 Well, if nobody's next, I guess I'll just go again. 132 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,299 Now that Stewie's back, we're going to have some new rules to keep us safe. 133 00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:40,740 First, it is no longer sufficient for our pets to look after our baby. 134 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,840 Probably the right call. 135 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,660 Second, kids' bedroom doors are not allowed to be closed all the way. I am 136 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,880 to do this, but I need you to be absolutely sure you've thought it out. 137 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,280 don't win this one, Mom. 138 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,120 I'm striking that last rule. 139 00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:57,340 We are going to start using the buddy system. 140 00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,160 If you leave, you go with your buddy. 141 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,100 You're okay with all these rules, Dad? 142 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,420 Sorry, Bud, but I agree with Mom on this stuff. I learned a lot from the Dad's 143 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,720 version of the parenting classes. 144 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:18,860 I also do dishes on holidays. 145 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:26,480 Okay, Stewie, Mom says no more screen time, so I'm going to read you a book. 146 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,440 This one is called, There's a Monster at the End of This Book. Ah! 147 00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,060 Peter? Stewie? 148 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,500 Where'd you guys go? 149 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:43,560 Lois, you need to very carefully remove that book from this room. Why bring it 150 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,419 into the house? 151 00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,520 Why take that chance? 152 00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:46,860 Peter, enough. 153 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,300 Read to Stewie. I'm an introvert. I gotta recharge. 154 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,820 You know the rules. One of us has to be with him at all times. 155 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,100 Look, I can't live with all these rules. Why does Meg get to live her best life 156 00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,100 in Denver? 157 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:07,600 Um, Congresswoman Boebert, could you please stop touching me there? I'm a 158 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,280 My pants are just bunched up. 159 00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:16,560 If I'm going to live under Lois' rule, I've got to take a little mental escape. 160 00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:19,140 Brian's got to have some loose gummies in here somewhere. 161 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:24,620 Oh, Bri, you beautiful scumbag. 162 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,300 Ooh, sativa. That means nothing to me or anyone. 163 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,840 Whoa. 164 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,500 Peter, where are you? 165 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,320 Relax, I just went to the bathroom. 166 00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:49,080 Relax? Stewie is unattended in front of the TV. He could easily turn into 167 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,370 something terrible, like... Paramount Plus. 168 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:53,150 Lois, you've got to relax. 169 00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:55,730 What would Dr. Cosby do in this situation? 170 00:10:56,310 --> 00:11:02,550 You put the plop in the drink, go fish, fish, and make her go slippity -floppity 171 00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:03,550 -floop. 172 00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:06,470 Of course. Thank you, Dr. Cosby. 173 00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:14,350 May I go to the bathroom, warden? You just went. 174 00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:16,250 I do different stuff every time. 175 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,910 Hmm. This chewy zen is excellent. 176 00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:30,370 It's close to hitting that corner. 177 00:11:30,670 --> 00:11:32,010 Yeah, it's going to hit it on the next one. 178 00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:36,850 You can talk? 179 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,350 You can understand me? 180 00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:42,730 Oh, I've been waiting a long time to say this. Here goes. 181 00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:47,430 Please stop buying the cheap baby wipes. They tear me up. Ah. 182 00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:48,229 Oh, great. 183 00:11:48,230 --> 00:11:50,690 Your first words to me are a grocery critique. 184 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,010 Hey, guess what? 185 00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:55,830 I think Baby Shark is a terrible song, and Dora sucks. 186 00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:59,930 All right, all right. We've clearly gotten off on the wrong foot here. Let's 187 00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:01,670 start over. Hi, Stewie Griffin. 188 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:10,530 I just... I can't believe you can talk. 189 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,110 Not only can I talk. 190 00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:16,410 I am the very model of a modern major general. Live information, vegetable, 191 00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:19,330 animal, and mineral. I know the kings of England, and I quote the fight 192 00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:22,150 historical. From Marathon to Waterloo, it order categorical. 193 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:24,730 I love this. 194 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,910 Did Peter do this once? 195 00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:31,710 He mumbled his way through it, but yeah. I don't understand how we're talking. 196 00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,670 Probably because we're both zonked. 197 00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:36,870 I would never do that in front of my baby. 198 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,530 Okay, then tell me something about the Dave Matthews Band. 199 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:45,240 Carter Beauford is the best drummer of his generation. Oh, my God, I am zonked. 200 00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:49,200 So I, uh, found some gummies in Bri's car and dosed us both. 201 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:50,559 Are you mad? 202 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,760 Well, I should be, but this is kind of awesome. 203 00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:55,780 I'm talking to my baby. 204 00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:59,780 Honestly, if I were you, I'd do this all the time. You put up with a lot. 205 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:01,860 Really? You think so? 206 00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:05,680 I mean, yes. Look at Peter. He treats you like garbage and does zero to help 207 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,060 out. Why do you let him do that? 208 00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:09,130 Oh, you are getting right in there. 209 00:13:09,350 --> 00:13:10,370 Well, it's tough. 210 00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:14,950 You know, you commit to somebody for life when you're like 19 and you know 211 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:16,410 nothing. Damn. 212 00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:22,090 Yeah. And it may be hard to believe, but when he was 19, Peter was stunning. 213 00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:24,670 I mean, weirdly, I can see it. 214 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:26,130 Besides, he... 215 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:30,860 He's going to be dead in a couple of years anyway. By then, my trust fund 216 00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:33,780 vest, and I'm going to be playing in a whole different league. 217 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,260 Oh, that's good. Okay, good. You've got a plan. That's cool. That's cool. 218 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:44,560 Hey, what's the story with Chris? It just doesn't seem like he's, how do I 219 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:50,160 this, thriving, you know? I fell down an escalator when I was pregnant with him. 220 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:52,620 He totally has an escalator head vibe. 221 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:53,880 Yeah. 222 00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:57,310 We tried to sue the mall, but then the mall just closed. 223 00:13:58,570 --> 00:13:59,830 Remember malls? 224 00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:03,830 You know Brian loves you, right? 225 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,470 Yeah, I know. 226 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:11,550 No, like he really loves you. I know, I know. I don't quite know how to handle 227 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:14,210 it, but he's such a good boy. 228 00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:16,490 And he'll be dead in a couple of years. 229 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:20,790 Oh, you are one twisted lady. 230 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:22,630 You should try out for the capital stamp. 231 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:23,839 What's that? 232 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,340 I don't know. It's weird at the Swanson's. 233 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,740 Oh, my God. What if we did an adventure together? 234 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:33,180 Oh, yes. I know the perfect thing for this vibe. Watch The Big Lebowski at a 235 00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:34,800 small theater by a college. 236 00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:36,060 Okay. 237 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,800 Do you think I'll like it? You'll think it's fine. All women think it's fine. 238 00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:48,120 Huh. Wouldn't you think John Goodman would be The Big Lebowski? 239 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,400 Oh, yeah. 240 00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:50,639 Oh, that's good. 241 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,860 I have a million of these thoughts a day. Who am I supposed to tell them to? 242 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:54,920 Freaking Bonnie? 243 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,040 Can I say something? 244 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,860 Bonnie's not pretty enough to be as mean as she is. 245 00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,360 Yes! That! 246 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:05,280 That! I'm really enjoying being on drugs with you. I don't know why people say 247 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:09,140 drugs are bad. Oof, ooh, bad time for Philip Seymour Hoffman to show up. 248 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:13,080 I can't stop thinking about the girl who sold us the tickets and then had to run 249 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,080 and make the popcorn. 250 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,280 Yeah, and I saw a broom by the popcorn maker, so you know she's putting on one 251 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,280 more hat. 252 00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,120 I'm still hungry. 253 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,360 I'm starving. 254 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,500 We gotta go to IHOP, right? Have to. 255 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,620 Thank you so much. 256 00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,840 We had such a nice time. 257 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,640 You know our waitress was the girl from the movie theater, right? 258 00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:38,920 Yeah, I couldn't look up. 259 00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,480 Nobody's rooting for her harder than me, but you just know she's not getting our 260 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,199 order right. 261 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,700 Yeah, just write it down. God. 262 00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,120 Okay, real talk. 263 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:52,070 Sometimes... I get the feeling that I might love you more than you love me, 264 00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:53,170 which is fine. 265 00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:57,570 You're not wrong. Honestly, I can't believe I'm saying this, but there was a 266 00:15:57,570 --> 00:16:00,110 time when I actually wanted to kill you. 267 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:03,630 What? Why would you want to do that? 268 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:07,710 Maybe because you're such a doormat. You let everyone walk all over you. Your 269 00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,130 husband, your kids, Bonnie. 270 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:12,410 I don't understand why that would make you want to kill me. 271 00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:17,500 I thought it was because I hated you, but maybe I just... wanted to put you 272 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:22,080 of your misery. I think I wanted to kill you because I came from you. 273 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:29,060 Whatever is in you must also be in me. I wanted to kill the part of myself that 274 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,260 scares me the most. 275 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:31,920 Wow. 276 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000 You're mad at me. 277 00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:48,210 must be a rabbit's favorite restaurant, right? 278 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:51,510 You're going to get us kicked out of here. 279 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:52,970 Thanks for sharing. 280 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:55,990 That was hard to hear, but it's OK. 281 00:16:56,790 --> 00:17:01,630 I'm your mom, and my job is to love you to the moon and back no matter what. 282 00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:03,410 Do you feel that? 283 00:17:04,869 --> 00:17:06,589 Yeah, I do. 284 00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:11,089 Good. Then I'm doing my job, and all you got to do is just be a kid. 285 00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:13,930 We ordered omelets. 286 00:17:14,589 --> 00:17:18,230 No, no, this is good, though. This is good. Better than what we ordered. Yay! 287 00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:25,089 Step on the crack, break your mama's back. 288 00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,849 No, I'm just joking. I'm not gonna. 289 00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:29,110 No, you can. 290 00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,530 It's just a silly game. 291 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:31,950 Okay. 292 00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,690 Ow! Mama! 293 00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:34,950 Mama! I'm sorry! 294 00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:36,410 Gotcha! 295 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,940 Mom, whoa, where has this Lois been? 296 00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:42,960 Yeah, I should let her come out more. 297 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:47,700 I didn't used to be so uptight, you know? I used to be crazy and fun. 298 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:54,380 Really? I shouldn't be telling you this, but once in college, this is nuts, but 299 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:59,460 my friends and I, we stayed up till one in the morning playing Jimmy Crack Corn 300 00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,320 with spoons on the bathroom sinks. 301 00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:03,890 Okay? 302 00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:07,090 Yeah. It was just, like, really crazy. 303 00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:12,450 Hey, we should get back at Bonnie for how mean she always is to you. 304 00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:17,730 Yes. I'll go get spoons. Do you know Jimmy Crackhorn? I can teach you. We'll 305 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,050 sing it so loud. 306 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,890 No, no. Just follow my lead. 307 00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:26,690 Bonnie gives you crap. We give her crap. 308 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:27,950 Griffin style. 309 00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:31,230 I'm not going to be able to go. 310 00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:35,490 Mom? I've known you since I was a baby. You try too hard with everything. 311 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:39,070 You're wound so tightly. Just let it go, babe. Just let it go. 312 00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:41,690 I did it. I just let it go. 313 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,690 Yes, the movie Popcorn and IHOP probably get an assist. 314 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:49,610 What a night. 315 00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:52,430 We should go on a trip, like to Tuscany or something. 316 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,350 Oh, like an eat, pray, love. 317 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,310 Yeah, like a mom and son paschetti trip. 318 00:18:57,530 --> 00:18:58,530 Want another Oreo? 319 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:02,180 Gotcha! 320 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,280 You remember your Oreo tantrum earlier? 321 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,820 You know, my tantrums are never about the thing they're about. 322 00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:11,380 What do you mean? 323 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,940 It's a generalized lack of control. I have no autonomy. I'm on everyone else's 324 00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:22,540 schedule. Stewie, I see you, I hear you, and I feel the same way. All adults do. 325 00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:27,560 They do? I mean, I'm not strapped in a car seat, but I may as well be. Every 326 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,200 day, it's shopping, chores, cleaning, repeat. 327 00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:31,910 So it's not just me? 328 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,750 Thanks, Mom. 329 00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:35,610 Oh, I love you, sweetie. 330 00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:43,430 So, you're not going to kill me, right? 331 00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:45,210 Not any time soon. 332 00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:53,930 Joe, why are there three human poos on our lawn? 333 00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:55,470 Two of them aren't mine. 334 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,320 Why am I on the floor? 335 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:19,000 Why are you here? Why am I in Stewie's room? I don't remember anything. 336 00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:22,100 This is like the hangover with Justin Bartha. 337 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,780 Nobody thinks of it like that. 338 00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:25,020 Oh, there you are. 339 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,780 I have no memory of what happened last night. 340 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:33,300 Yet I have the strangest feeling that Stewie and I, we shared something 341 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,080 Pancakes, please. 342 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:40,320 Yes, it's strange, Rupert, but I feel the same way. Something changed with us. 343 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,120 think this is a whole new beginning. 344 00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,700 Uh -uh -uh, too early, little guy. 345 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:52,260 Oh, my God, what is wrong with you? It's just Oreos. 346 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,080 Well, I guess we'll always have whatever last night was. 347 00:20:57,470 --> 00:21:01,210 We're out of your Tom's of Maine rough and dry baby wipe. I'll order more. 348 00:21:02,430 --> 00:21:03,430 I'm gonna kill her.